April 2022 – Avoiding the Near Occasion of Sin
“Oh my God, I am heartily sorry for offending thee, and I detest all of my sins because I dread the loss of Heaven and the pains of Hell, but most of all, because they offend thee, my God, who art all good and deserving of all of my love. I firmly resolve with the help of thy grace, to sin no more, and to avoid the near occasion of sin.” ~ Act of Contrition
In order to be forgiven of our sins in confession, we must make a firm amendment to avoid the occasion of sin. That is, we must intend and try hard to avoid the situations that lead us into temptation, much like an alcoholic would avoid a bar. Without this firm purpose of amendment in confession, we retain our sins, and even gain new ones as we are not treating God with the respect He deserves.
“Among the penitent’s acts contrition occupies first place. Contrition is ‘sorrow of the soul and detestation for the sin committed, together with the resolution not to sin again.’”~ Catechism of the Catholic Church
“We must, then, in the first place, detest and deplore all our sins. If our sorrow and detestation extend only to some sins, our repentance is not salutary; but feigned and false. Whosoever shall keep the whole law, says St. James, but offend in one point, is become guilty of all…..That a sorrow for sin and a firm purpose of avoiding sin for the future are two conditions indispensable to contrition nature and reason clearly show. He who would be reconciled to a friend whom he has wronged must regret to have injured and offended him, and his future conduct must be such as to avoid offending him in anything against friendship.” ~Catechism of the Council of Trent
“Hence, being once compelled by exorcisms to tell the sermon which displeased him most, the Devil confessed that it was the sermon on avoiding the occasions of sin. As long as we expose ourselves to the occasions of sin, the Devil laughs at all our good purposes and promises to God. The greatest care of the enemy is, to induce us not to avoid evil occasions; for these occasions, like a veil placed before the eyes, prevent us from seeing either the lights received from God, or the eternal truths, or the resolutions we have made; in a word, they make us forget all, and as it were force us into sin.” ~St. Alphonsus Liguouri
Thus, if we are to be forgiven, if we are to amend our lives, if we are to be saved, we MUST avoid the situations, the choices that we make, that put us into temptation. Problems with pornography? Stay off the internet/electronics as much as possible. Problems with gossip? Avoid people/conversations where you are likely to do so. Problems with missing Mass or prayer? Schedule your time so that less important things don’t get in the way. If we practice this and teach our children, they will be virtuous, and we may have reason to hope to be together in Heaven.
March 2022 – on Fasting/Abstinance
This being Lent, it only seemed appropriate to discuss abstinence from meat, but especially fasting.
What is fasting?
“Refraining from food and drink as an expression of interior penance, in imitation of the fast of Jesus for forty days in the desert, Fasting is an ascetical practice recommended in Scripture and the writings of the church fathers; it is sometimes prescribed by a precept of the Church, especially during the liturgical season of Lent.” (Catechism of the Catholic Church)
What does it have to do with a Catholic family?
In short, because we are to imitate Christ and become holy.
“To prayer let us unite fasting and almsdeeds. Fasting is more intimately connected with prayer. For the mind of one who is filled with food and drink is so borne down as not to be able to raise itself to the contemplation of God, or even to understand what prayer means….. This ripple remedy was, therefore, appointed by God to aid n the attainment of salvation. For by sin we offend God, wrong our neighbor, or injure ourselves. The wrath of God we appease by pious prayer; our offences against man we redeem by almsdeeds; the stains of our own lives we wash away by fasting. Each of these remedies, it is true, is applicable to every sort of sin; they are, however, peculiarly adapted to those three which we have specially mentioned.” (Catechism of the Council of Trent)
When should I fast?
All Fridays throughout the year the Church has declared that we are to abstain from meat. We are allowed, outside of Lent, to substitute an equal sacrifice. During Lent we must abstain from meat on Fridays. Ash Wednesday and Good Friday we must also fast (no snacks, and only one full meal is taken. The other two meals can not cumulatively be greater than the one full meal). Anyone 18 through 59 must fast. If we break the Church’s command in this (whether fasting or abstaining), we sin.
Historically there have been other days called ember days where we’d also abstain from meat for at least two meals on Wednesday, Friday, and Saturday. These would happen four times a year. Catholics also used to abstain from meat for at least two meals every day throughout Lent, while still having no meat on Fridays.
Fasting would be a good topic to speak with a priest (especially if you have a spiritual director) to see how you can incorporate it into your spiritual life. It is certainly something we can all do if we are healthy, and it bear great spiritual fruit.
February 2022 – On Prayer
I hope that you’ll bear with me on this topic, not only does it appear to be a break from the other two topics, but it is one that I feel that I would be likely to skip as I would doubt that I’d discover anything I didn’t already know. But Prayer is the foundation to our spiritual life. It is how we learn to listen to God, so it most definitely teaches us how to be the spouses and parents we were meant to be as we follow His example and inspirations.
As far as learning something new: well, again, the idea here is that you’re not listening to me. I likely could teach you very little. So let’s listen to the saints and the Church.
First, what is prayer? “The elevation of the mind and heart to God in praise of his glory; a petition made to God for some desired good, or in thanksgiving for a good received, or in intercession for others before God. Through prayer the Christian experiences a communion with God through Christ in the Church” (Catechism of the Catholic Church) This is a good summary of what our prayer life should consist of, namely: praising God for His sake, asking Him for help/things, giving Him thanks, or interceding for others.
What does prayer do for us? It eases and gives purpose to our daily struggles. “Tell the worldly man, in truth the devout find many hardships in their works of mortification, but in the performance they become easy and welcome; even as the stake, the fire, the sword, and the wheel, were as perfumed flowers to the martyrs of old, because they were devout, and if devotion can soften torture and death itself, can it not lighten the daily path of duty?” (Introduction to the Devout Life by St. Francis de Sales, Part 1, Ch. 2) This is because it creates uniformity between our will and God’s. Whether good or bad come our way, we are pleased since it comes from God and we accept it as being what is best for us since it is a gift from our Father, as St. Alphonsus Liguori discusses in Uniformity with God’s Will.
So how much should we pray? We aren’t monks or nuns who have the opportunity to block out the world behind the walls of a monastery or convent. “Devote on hour daily to mental prayer – if you can, let it be early in the morning, because then your mind is less cumbered and more vigorous after the night’s rest. Do not spend longer than an hour in this exercise unless expressly desired to do so by your spiritual father.” (Intro to the Devout Life, Part 2, Ch. 1) I’m sure you’re thinking, “I don’t have time for that!” Well, there is a story of a priest reacting very similarly when Mother Theresa of Calcutta told him as much. To which she responded, “Then pray for 2 hours.” Admittedly, I don’t do this myself. The quality is much more important than the quantity. St. Francis also warns against taking on too many devotions. So while an hour is the goal, start with at least 15 minutes. And pray it well. You will be distracted. Accept that, but don’t encourage the distractions. Work to focus your mind on God over and over again. It is an exercise, “prayer strength training” if you will. God allows the distractions to make us stronger.
So what and how should you pray? “Begin all prayer, whether mental or vocal, by placing yourself in the presence of God. Adhere strictly to this rule, the value of which you will soon realize. I recommend you to say the Lord’s Prayer, Hail Mary, and the Creed in Latin. But you must at the same time thoroughly understand the words in your own language: so that whilst you join in the universal language of the Church, you may appreciate the blessed meaning of those holy prayers, which you must say, fixing your thoughts steadily, and arousing your affections, not hurrying in order to say many prayers, but endeavoring that which you say may come from your heart. For one Lord’s Prayer said with devotion is worth more than many recited hastily.” (Intro to the Devout Life, Part 2, Ch. 1) St. Francis goes on to mention the Rosary, Litanies of Our Lord, of the Blessed Virgin, and of the Saints.
This is getting long, so one last point: To whom could we claim to love, that we never/rarely speak to or if we do, we give little attention and just rattle off words?
January 2022 – Parents’ Duty to their Children
It seems only fitting after talking about the primary purpose of marriage (having children and raising them in the faith. See previous reflection), that we talk about what it means to raise them in the faith. “Parents are obliged to bring up their children in the knowledge and practice of religion, and to give them the best rules for the regulation of their lives; so that, instructed and trained in religion, they may serve God holily and constantly… The priest, therefore, should admonish parents to be to their children guides in the virtues of justice, chastity, modesty and holiness.” ~ Catechism of the Council of Trent
I have chosen this point for two reasons. Hopefully we parents already know this. But I think we need the reminder. Not only for our own salvation, but for the sake of our children, we should know and live the faith. This doesn’t mean that we need to be experts, but we should know enough to answer our children’s questions. We should have gone through the Catechism and have one ready for reference (we all forget!) We should be solid examples of Catholicism, and when we regularly fail, we regularly go to confession, and bring our children with us.
My second reason is that parents forget this or at least think that sending their kids to Catholic school or religious education/CCD is sufficient. It is not. Sadly, our Catholic education in the faith is usually lacking. But even if it weren’t, children need the example and reinforcement of their parent at home, especially their father’s.
So let us take this responsibility to heart, lest we lose their souls and are own.
“He (the priest) should admonish them to guard particularly against three things… they are not by words or action to exercise too much harshness towards their children… For there is danger that the spirit of the child may be broken, and he become abject and fearful of everything… choose rather to correct their children than to revenge themselves upon them.
Should a fault be committed which requires reproof and chastisement, the parent should not, on the other hand, by undue indulgence, overlook its correction. Children are often spoiled by too much lenity and indulgence on the part of their parents….
Finally, to avoid what is most shameful in the instruction and education of children, let them not propose to themselves aims that are unworthy. Many there are whose sole concern is to leave their children wealth, riches, and an ample and splendid fortune; who encourage them not to piety and religion, or to honorable employment, but to avarice, and an increase of wealth, and who, provided their children are rich and wealthy, are regardless of their good name and eternal salvation. Can anything more shameful be thought or expressed? Of such parents it is true to say, that instead of bequeathing wealth to their children, they leave rather their own wickedness and crimes for an inheritance; and instead of conducting them to heaven, lead them to the eternal torments of Hell.” ~ Catechism of the Council of Trent
So let us be wary of over emphasizing careers or college over following Christ. Let us raise them to be ardent Catholics, on fire for the Lord. Then we will have reason to be proud of our children and the Lord will be pleased with us.
December 2021 – Purpose of Marriage
What does it mean to be a Catholic Family? What has the Church to say on the matter in its over 2000 years of existence?
To understand what a family is, we first have to understand its basic unit, namely a husband and a wife. The best way to understand something is to understand what its purpose is for. So what is the purpose of a husband and wife? What is the purpose of marriage?
“In the first place comes the family, instituted and arranged by God himself for the purpose of the generation and formation of offspring…” ~ Divini illius magistri, Pope Pius XI
But what sort of formation does this entail?
“But Christian parents must also understand that they are destined not only to propagate and preserve the human race on earth, indeed not only to educate any kind of worshippers of the true God, but children who are to become members of the Church of Christ, to raise up fellow-citizens of the Saints, and members of God’s household,[16] that the worshippers of God and Our Savior may daily increase…. Since, however, We have spoken fully elsewhere on the Christian education of youth,[18] let Us sum it all up by quoting once more the words of St. Augustine: “As regards the offspring it is provided that they should be begotten lovingly and educated religiously,”[19] – and this is also expressed succinctly in the Code of Canon Law – “The primary end of marriage is the procreation and the education of children.””~Casti Connubii, Pope Pius XI
So as parents then, let us be open to life, and indeed be more than open. Let us try to welcome more children into our families than we are comfortable with so that we and our families can grow. Let us raise them to be holy. Let us teach them to pray, teach the Catechism, both by word and example. Let us live our faith courageously, particularly in front of them so that we might teach them how to be good Catholics.
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